The Holidays Are Coming

Sometimes I feel more often than not like giving up. Life is hard, admit it. I don’t have a whole lot of say with what happens around here.

The military owns my husband and can change anything they want on us at any given moment. They change his work schedule left and right like nothing matters. There are a lot of perks to being a military family, but not everything is always great and dandy like many people think. It’s definitely a difficult/different lifestyle to get used to.

My girls run my life right now. Both with SO many needs. It’s truly incredible to sit back and count how many issues we’ve got going on…. but it’s best to just keep on going rather than stop to think sometimes. Between my two girls, I spend countless hours weekly at doctors appointments. Countless hours stressing about them, about what’s next. Sometimes wondering if they’ll ever catch a break. Most days, I try not to complain, Because I have two absolutely beautiful miracle children who have defied so many odds. But, it is hard to always try to be the strong one, the one that never cries, the one that nobody truly knows what is happening to them. I break, I’m human, I’m not perfect. Humans are meant to break. It is extremely difficult, stressful, and exhausting to care for my little girls. Sometimes I just wish i could have a tiny break. Not even from them, but from the difficulties.

More often than not lately, I realize how much we are here to help each other through this life. Through our ups and downs. Lately I’ve been trying to help others, like is taught in the LDS gospel. To sacrifice and serve others to bring happiness to others and ourselves. “Forget yourselves, and go to work” runs through my mind often. There are many times when I serve others that I forget about my own problems. My own hardships. There is so much truth to that principle. Lately I’ve been trying to find a balance between what I have to give and what I need in return. It’s difficult to find somebody to talk to, who truly understands what you’re going through. To find somebody who really cares. And when I feel all alone, away from family, in a state where I know hardly anybody, it is difficult. I tend to build up inside, and then have days, like today… where I finally break when I have a minute of quiet once the girls are finally asleep (for now). Quiet is not always good for me. I have extremely bad depression and anxiety. Giving my mind any bit of time to slow down and think can tear me to pieces at times. I try to stay busy, and usually I am. I’m busy from the moment I get up, until after midnight working my business once the girls are in bed.

You know when you just need a shoulder to cry on, to lean on…. and you don’t have one right there? It’s rough. It really is. I’m learning more and more about the one shoulder I ALWAYS have to lean on. And that is my Saviors. He is always here for me, and will never leave my side. Friends will come and go. Family will be here, but distant. But my Savior Jesus Christ will always be my shoulder to lean on. He will always reach his hand out to drag me away from drowning when I get on my knees and pray for his help.

With the holidays coming so soon, I hurt. I miss family. I miss tradition. I miss the snow. I somehow have to put a good front on for my girls. To set an example of what the true meaning of Christmas is. Yes, the traditions and excitement are absolutely wonderful. But when we take the time to focus on what Christmas is all about, we can be distracted from the pains of what we are missing, and be grateful for what we have, and the birth of our Savior.

Try to remember the true meaning of Christmas this year. Whether you’re home alone during the holidays, or out having parties. Take a moment, read about the birth of our Savior and remember his life. Say your prayers, lean on him, and find true happiness!

Those Days…

You know those days where you just need to talk? Those days when you need to cry? Those days when you just want to burst with excitement? Those days when you wish others just knew what was going on? Those days you want to brag about your kiddos? Those days you just feel grateful? Those days you are scared, anxious depressed, or lonely? Those days you just don’t know what to cook for dinner? Those days you feel like giving up? Those days you feel proud of all you’ve accomplished?

Well, we all have them. And I feel that when we share our experiences with others, the good and the bad, that we can help each other through this life.

Have you ever wondered what the life of a military spouse is really like? The life of a mother? The life of a woman with struggles? The life of a family with blessings and miracles? The life of a mother of children with special needs? The life of owning a small business?

Welcome to my life! You will learn things about me that I never thought I’d share publicly. You will share my joys, my failures, my experiences, my struggles & my blessings with me!

There have been so many things I have been through where I just wish there was somebody who could have told me exactly what it would be like. I’m not here to do that for you, but I’m here to share our life so when or if you may experience the same things as us, you will not feel alone. You can find answers. You may be able to feel prepared.

I may not have a story line or specific reason to my posts, but I hope to be able to help others along the way!

Stay tuned for more about My Life In Peaches! ☺️